Its a rarity, but tonight I'm going out, out; all out - in double demin, a pair of killer heels, and John Lennon's favourite hat.
This is home
Home is where the heart is, or so they say. My home is definitely the beating heart of our family life. From the narrow eat in kitchen with its industrial concrete floor to the warmth of the living room, with its sofa for 700 and walnut wood fixtures; I love being at home, regularly spending nights in, plonked in front of the box, TV tray in lap (the husband forces me to use one, as I clearly can't be trusted near natural fibres or lightly coloured material). With the kids sound asleep upstairs, and ideally my better half sat next to me - I can't think of many other places I'd rather be.
"Two is like trying to control the sea. Tricky, hard to navigate, mostly impossible."
The best accessories in life are free
The husbands job keeps him busy of an evening, and I can't complain. We met whilst working in the same industry - so once upon a time, I too was a night owl; albeit a slightly less in control, successful and sober night owl. I get that he has to work - but often it means I forgo evenings out for evenings in - when we can all be together; bath time, bed time, tray time. But on the odd occasion, I go out. This is something I used to do better. When we only had Big, it was a bit like having an accessory you could tote around to lunches, or leave at each others offices before going out with your friends. I was better at making the effort to go out, and somehow it just seemed easier to make it happen. Two is like trying to control the sea. Tricky, hard to navigate, mostly impossible. So, often I've not wanted to leave the kids with anyone other than our extraordinary babysitter (I could live without the husband, but not her). And basically, I've just gotten a bit lazy. This has lessened opportunities to go out exponentially, but recently I've been trying to have a bit more of an independent life again. Not just work and home - but friends and experiences that live outside of work and home.
But the brilliant thing about going out these days, is not the getting away from it all and being just me again, but the getting dressed. The hours of pointless worrying I used to do trying to work out what to wear, what impression I wanted to make, where the night might potentially lead. Now, I don't give such things much thought. I don't have the time to worry and whine about what I'm going to wear (at least, not quite as much) - so getting dressed has become liberating, as oppose to stultifying. Throwing things together at the last minute, without over thinking it, has made getting dressed fun again. I enjoy having no time to think my outfit through, or as in the case of the above, simply adding fragrance, a pair of heels and a hat to the outfit I've spent the day ferrying kids around in. Its a truly superwoman like moment, to add a lipstick and heels and seemingly transform into an entirely different person. So tonight Matthew, I am going to be me, circa 1995. When double denim was a good look, and John Lennon was the closest thing I had to true love in my life. Times move on, but feeling good never goes out of style.